fucked up. :), To N.

To N.

You left. Again. And I did let you go. I keep trying to be the girl you always wanted. Who would tell you everything you wanna know, who would do anything you want me to, who would change for you, who would be someone perfect so you could tell everyone that you made the right choice. I never wanted to be perfect, I never wanted to be a better person. I used to love the old me, I was contented. But then, I did everything you want, gave you everything and yet I was never enough. You kept comparing me to your past relationships, that she was better than me, that she did this and that. But I never wanted to be like her. She left you without a word, she always lied to you, she always made you feel insignificant. Yet I always treated you as my life, I always thought about you in every decision I made and you say she’s better than I am? How come? Does lying and leaving mean loving to you? If that’s the case, I’d never wanna be like her. I never asked you for anything extravagant, I only wanted to be accepted as who I am.

You already left like a million times already and you kept coming back to me, but this time I’m not gonna have you back. I’m done trying to prove to you that I’m way better than her, I’m done trying to be perfect, I’m done with you. You promised me everything, but then you did nothing. I guess I was just a promise you couldn’t keep. That’s fine. We already shared a year and three months together and I’m thankful to you. You made me stronger. I might be in pieces right now, but I’ll be okay.

Thank you for everything you did for me, all the times we spent together. I guess you’re not the one that would fight to be with me. I wish for your happiness and success in life. i’ll surely miss you. Take good care of yourself and I freaking love you like hell. God Bless! :)